Ten Obstacles That Prevent Good Communication

Each one of us often considers that he is expressing himself clearly and that his communication is adequate, but that is not the case. How do we find out? Basically because others look at us, ask us, respond to us in a different way than we expected, etc. Thus, our words, attitudes or silences have consequences, even if we do not realize it.

In order to express ourselves in the best possible way and at the same time obtain the desired results, it is necessary, before speaking, to ask ourselves the following: What do I really want to say? How am I going to say it (or am I saying it in that moment)? Why do I want to express it? Am I starting the conversation in the right place and situation?

Hinting can obscure our message

It may be difficult for you to talk about certain topics, either because you feel ashamed, sad, upset, angry, rage, etc. If you still need to refer to it because you want to solve it or because it is not good to “keep everything inside”, first get rid of the habit of “insinuating”.

To insinuate means to dialogue in an unclear way, waiting for the other person to realize or interpret what we are talking about. But it is not possible that this always happens, since the interlocutor (or listener) does not have a crystal ball or does not know us well enough.

If we do not speak clearly, the other can interpret anything, which is undoubtedly not favorable. Even when we have been living with another person for a long time, it is advisable to be clear and express what we want without letting the other guess and that we assume about their behavior.

Rushing us with our message has its consequences

On the other hand, it is very difficult to talk about a topic that causes you annoyance or that you know will lead to an argument or a fight. Trying to start a difficult conversation in the most enjoyable way possible, without much preamble, but also not “getting to the point” without trial and error is the most appropriate.

The other may not feel well, have a bad day or that subject also overwhelms him, etc. Just in case, analyze the situation first before you start. Remember that asking or communicating is not the same as attacking and attacking.

You have to know when to say things and in what way. Not all of us always wake up with a smile or have had a beautiful day, so it is important to analyze the context and the state of mind of the person receiving our message.

Also, we do not all have the same abilities, for example, one may be good at speaking, the other at listening. Recognize in your interlocutor what profile it is. Addressing yourself in the wrong way is your problem, not the other’s and if you know that this person is a better “listener”, don’t try to get information from him, ask him questions, ask for an opinion. Respect how the other person is and let them only speak when they want or think necessary.

An opportunity to learn to communicate and handle emotional aspects in your conversations and relationships with others can be found in the course “Improve your communication” by Javier Cebreiros, which will introduce you to the wonderful universe of communication, providing you with strategies and resources.

No listening

Not listening is almost a universal habit. Often, while pretending to “listen” we are thinking about what to say. Practicing the skill of listening is more difficult than it seems and if you cannot check it …

Failure to listen leads to great conflicts because instead of a conversation what is held are monologues. If we listen we will be able to detect in a more adequate way what our interlocutor tells us and therefore, we will be able to understand it.

In addition, another of the interferences present in communication in relation to listening are the too high tones of our messages or voices. If in the middle of a talk you start attacking or yelling, don’t expect a good response. It is best to stop and think how you are saying things. As much as they make you angry, or think it is a losing battle, remember this saying: “do not raise your voice, improve your argument.”

Suppose

Bad for many is to suppose what the other is saying or thinking to us. Do you really think that because you know that person for a long time you can guess what he has in his head? To suppose is to create a story with your personal perceptions …

The best option in a conversation is to ask, ask and ask. There is nothing else. But to do this, you have to first catch yourself making your assumptions about the other … If you are attentive, you will find yourself doing it.

Chat at inappropriate times and places

Another determining factor in being successful in our conversations is recognizing whether the time and place are right. Calling your husband when he is in the office to argue is not a good idea, starting a fight with your girlfriend in the middle of the street, either.

An important communication requires a suitable time and place. And above all, keep it private. Experts say that to know when and where to delicately discuss or treat a topic, think that instead of talking you are going to undress. Is it okay for you to do it in a restaurant, in front of your parents or on the bus? Well, if your answer is no, it is not the place to start a discussion either.

Also be careful not to let time pass without talking about the subject, because it leads to accumulating hatred and tension, forgetting what is important and having a bad time in the meantime.

Disrespect and label others

Disrespecting and criticizing or even judging the other person will be useless in the middle of a conversation or discussion. Criticizing the person does not improve your argument, it is only proof that you have no underlying reasons, are angry or simply do not know how to react to something that is not to your liking.

Previous unresolved issues

Resorting to past entrenched issues to remind the other that he is not perfect or the damage he did us, is also a regular in discussions and one of the biggest obstacles in communication with others. But at this moment we are not talking about the past, that is over and if not, we can also decide when to talk about it so that it is settled but at another time.

The important thing is to focus on what has happened now and not start to bring up dirty laundry or silenced opinions that we did not bring to light at the time.

A lot of anger or tension

Anger, stress, or tension can play tricks on us and cause us to be rash and impulsive in our conversations. It is better to relax, be patient and leave the conversation for a time when we find ourselves more calm than under the experimentation of these sensations.

Have pride

Pride generates consequences in our personal relationships. Sometimes, we will have to give in or take the first step ourselves, we cannot wait for the other to always be the one to start. Our ego loves that they are directed towards it to magnify itself but we have to know how to overshadow it.

Lack of clarity about our feelings, wishes, or thoughts

Not knowing what is happening to us, how we feel or what we want to say, will hinder our communication because we will send an ambiguous message. Before speaking, review your feelings and thoughts and decide what it is that you really want to communicate.