Good People Also Have The Right To Say Enough

Good people do not close for vacations or have office hours. Nobody rewards us for what we do nor do we want it. We are made of unusual material, but this is how we understand life,  and this is how our heart speaks to us.

Now, being good is not being naive. It is having our own values ​​to fight for and which, at the same time, define us. But the moment we feel violated or used selfishly, there is something inside that begins to break.

It is actually somewhat more complex than we think. When someone does things of free will, it is their spirit that guides them, it is spontaneity and their own integrity.

But when other people violate these principles to reach a goal in search of their own benefit, instead of blaming those who have manipulated us, we blame ourselves. It is the most common. We tell ourselves that we are naive, that we give too much, that we do not know how to intuit things, to people….

And all this, all this negative self-projection, little by little undermines our self – esteem in a dangerous way. Let’s reflect on it today.

The battlements of our own castles

When we perceive the invasion of second people in our personal spaces, we usually deploy the classic defensive strategies to protect ourselves. And even more, we hold others responsible for that wrong. Now, in the case of good people, this does not always happen this way.

Good people tend to turn their heads towards themselves, taking responsibility for this “intrusion. ” They see themselves as overconfident, coming to think that if they raise the battlements of their own castles they will lose part of who they are, they will not be in balance with their principles.

Now, we must be clear that all of us need to have a space of control, a personal limit behind which, it is mandatory to raise our battlements so that we are not violated. To convince yourself even more about it, it is important that you keep these simple aspects in mind:

Setting limits will not separate you from others

Good people have every right to say enough without being called selfish. We know that those around you are more than used to always saying yes, to being available and welcoming them with a smile.

• Setting limits will help you get to know yourself and others. You must know how far you want to go and, from there, others must adjust as well.
• The moment these limits are clear, relationships will be healthier. In addition, it will help you to have a better knowledge of yourself.

Even love needs limits

If someone thought otherwise, they are wrong. There is no more necessary context in which to set clear limits than in affective, family or friendship relationships. In reality, there will be no more affectionate and complicit way than to be able to calmly say a “no” without worrying that the other person will feel offended or upset by it.

To love someone, be it a partner, a friend or even a family member, is to be able to act freely, according to our principles, knowing that we are going to be respected at all times.

Saying “no” will never make us stop being good people

Before convincing others, you must convince yourself. You need to be able to say enough, and say it out loud with conviction, without being ashamed of it or feeling bad about it.

Think that if day after day you give in to everything they ask of you, what actually ends up happening is that they are stealing your energy, your self-esteem, and in turn … they will turn you into someone you are not.

There will come a time when you really want to help someone, it will be impossible. You will not have strength, or courage and, worse still, you will no longer believe in yourself. You must be clear, good people have the right to say enough. It will help you have a clearer understanding of who you are, what matters to you and, at the same time, you will show it to others.

The importance of drawing an imaginary line between you and others

Raising battlements around you is not like creating a line of punishment overnight for others where you are isolated as well as protected. It’s the opposite …

All of this will offer you the security of acting with integrity to build authentic positive relationships. In this way, whoever really loves you will understand you, because good people despite not wanting anything in return, we need reciprocity and, above all, to be respected. Never forget it.

Images courtesy of Karen Jones Lee, Miranda Klark, Art Graphic Swit