I Neither Seek Nor Hope: I Am Happy In My Singleness

Singleness, far from being a sentimental state, actually describes a person who advances through a specific stage of his life in fullness and freedom, without having to wait for anything or without the obligation to look for anyone. Because being single doesn’t always mean being available, sometimes we simply choose to commit to ourselves.

Despite the fact that most studies support the idea that married people are, in general, happier than single women, these same works also point out various aspects:. In turn, the common thing is to go through several affective couples until in the end, it is possible to find -or not- the right person.

Something that is more than evident is the fact that affective relationships can bring us the most sublime of happiness or lead us, from one day to the next, to know the taste of disappointment and sadness. Love is something that is undoubtedly worth living. Now, it will never be appropriate to make that search our only reason for being.

Happiness, well-being and balance must be born from oneself, it is like that imperishable fire capable of guiding us on each of our paths. Either alone or holding someone’s hand.

When singleness becomes a personal “state” for society

Not long ago, the world’s media echoed a story with the headline “China’s leftover women.” In this clearly traditional and patriarchal country, the policy of the one child has changed, now, the engines of progress demand more labor, and this implies that women must fulfill their role in parenting matters. Thus, when a girl is over 25 and has not found a husband, she and her family are singled out by the state media.

These young women are nicknamed “Sheng Nu” (leftover women) and are urged to be part of a type of marketing with which to seek a forced link. However, many of these girls already show a marked turning point with which to free themselves from this stigma. They defend their singleness and above all, they fight for their individuality, something that does not fit too well in a “communist-political” context.

Singleness in many countries becomes a social status and therefore a category. In reality, we do not need to travel to the country of the rising sun to see this type of behavior. In closer contexts, these types of ideas are somewhat more implicit but just as present. The single men and women are not considered “surplus” but rather “incomplete. In fact, in many countries, reaching your 40s while single is little more than a personal failure.

Just as an example, this simple but explicit illustration is worth it. Its author is Idalia Candelas and with her graphic work she brings us the delicate reality of single women in Mexico. Despite not being well viewed, single women live alone but without suffering, without being depressed. She feels safe and enjoys her own company, despite the fact that part of society does not understand it.

There are singles who neither seek nor wait

Singleness is not a crossroads or a waiting room where we can wait to reintroduce ourselves back into our role as spouse, partner, partner or partner. There are singles who simply neither wait nor seek.

• Each case is unique and each of us undoubtedly has his own experiential baggage, but many people end up discovering that singleness brings them a more enriching life. They can pursue their interests and passions, and even make more meaningful decisions when alone.

• There will undoubtedly be those who do want to find that person capable of fitting into their dreams, in the edges of their voids and in the brilliance of their values, but this does not mean that they become obsessed or look for it in every corner. At times, he limits himself to “letting himself be found” while advancing on his path, on that path of personal growth where he feels good about himself.

Where he expects nothing and at the same time, he expects everything …