Are We Responsible For Others Or Not?

The human being is a social animal, as we already discovered in the background of ancient Greek philosophy. It doesn’t matter if we become hermits or are stranded on a desert island. In the background of all that we are and what we do is always operating the culture in which we were born and from which we become members of the species. But, to what extent are we responsible for others?

We need others. Think, if no one took care of us in our first years of life, what chance would we have of surviving? But, just as we need, so do others need us. This elemental solidarity, based on reciprocity, is like a kind of program that we have installed “from the factory” : it is in our genetic constitution and it has allowed us to survive as a species.

But, in the same way that some people disregard that genetic mandate and cease to be sensitive to the human, there are also many cases in which we can identify people who cross the border of solidarity, forgetting their own needs along the way. At least, apparently.

To what extent are we responsible for others?

The question is difficult to answer. In the field of the human there are no formulas, nor schemes, nor absolute truths. However, one thing is certain: we are all responsible, to some extent, for what happens to us as a species. That includes those closest to you, as well as those most distant, and even those who have not yet been born.

Everything we do has a greater or lesser effect on others. Some actions have a broad scope and others a more limited one, but in all cases the action of one human being has repercussions on others. Even a bonfire that is lit on an uninhabited island changes, albeit to a minuscule extent, the air we all breathe.

Hence, in essence, we are all responsible for everyone. There is an invisible thread that binds all members of humanity. Other people are always on our horizon, looking at us, ignoring us, judging us, loving us or in a thousand ways, but always there.

The “neurotic managers” of others

The word “responsibility” comes from the Latin root “responsum”, which means “ability to respond.” So when we speak of responsibility towards others, we refer to that ability to respond to their needs, expectations and shortcomings. But beware: this does not cover ALL needs, ALL expectations, and ALL lacks.

However, there are people who for various reasons have come to the conclusion that they live only for others. They even experience a very strong feeling of guilt if they stop helping someone, even though, objectively, they can’t even do it. It is then that responsibility becomes a torture of its own that others hardly understand.

In these cases there is an excess that is not exactly generosity, but rather arises from a guilty and persecutory conception of helping others. Usually it is the result of an unconscious mandate according to which one’s own existence is justified only if it is dedicated to the service of others.

When responsibility towards others becomes excessive, it is probably behind an unresolved emotional conflict that remains latent. There is a second intention in an excessive and continuous attitude of help and offer, although many times the collaborator himself does not know it. On the other hand, he is not able to enjoy the benefits that his collaboration can bring, it is an obsession for which there is never enough.

He also takes responsibility for another who intends to control him. Thus, behind your offer is the fear that your expectations will not be met and that not everything will go according to what you would like. This form of control is very harmful, especially with children, as it stunts their growth and makes them dependent.

Ultimately, one person becomes unnecessarily responsible for another when he wants to evade his own responsibilities. Having to be aware of others is a magnificent pretext for not dealing with our own problems and, incidentally, victimizing ourselves for that very reason. It is a manipulation technique that is applied when we are afraid of facing deficiencies that we find difficult to tolerate and the fear of possible failure.