The Value Of Initiating The Change
A terrible storm. The wind whips the ocean and churns its waves, turning them into menacing ridges dotted with sea foam. But we must be strong, raise our sails and hold tightly to the rudder of our small boat to adapt to those movements. If we stand still in panic, we will surely sink… We must move to initiate change.
We know, changes cost. Changes hurt, but they are necessary for our evolution as people in order to find not only happiness, but also peace and our own integrity. It is curious, for example, that in Eastern culture the word “change” is represented by two ideograms that in turn illustrate two terms: “danger” and “opportunity”. Really significant.
The need for coping
Why do changes cause us fear or uncertainty? Let’s take an example. You must change your residence to find a job or simply a better one. The fear of not knowing if it is going to be the right thing to do and if the emotional and personal cost is going to be worth it, is undoubtedly the main fear towards that decisive step that will change our life.
Another example. You have been in a relationship with a person for several years, and you feel that you are not happy. That it is not your place and that with each passing day you see yourself more oppressed. But nevertheless, you fear leaving said person because at the same time you do not know how to face that new life alone, you do not know how your partner can take it either.
Without knowing how, people fall into a reality where “what is known to us reassures us because we know how we should act.” In other words, we are in a kind of comfort zone where despite not being fully happy in this bubble, whatever has been outside seems threatening. In this way, we cling to this comfort even if it hurts, because it is the terrain we know and from which we are afraid to leave.
Every change involves a great deal of personal courage. It forces us to adapt to the new environmental conditions, where we have to invest a good part of our emotional and physical effort, while risking our well-being and safety. The uncertainty of the changes, without a doubt, paralyze us, the doubt, everything unforeseen. However, if we do not take the step, we will never know what direction we are going to take. Perhaps in the first steps our legs will shake, but in the following we will gain confidence.
The personal courage to initiate change
To be able to initiate the change that we want so much but that we dare not bring about, we first need to be realistic and aware of our situation. How do you feel right now? Do you think you are personally fulfilled? Are you in a reality that you really want, with the people you want? When you look in the mirror, can you tell yourself that you are happy?
It is true that they can be very decisive questions, but perhaps the nature of the question to be investigated is there, perhaps there will be the need for change in some aspect of our life. Be it big or small. If we were to rate ourselves from one to ten, how happy are we with our current situation? What if something changed? It is true that happiness depends to a large extent on how we see life, but for this reason we should not resign ourselves to endure situations that do not benefit us.
Change is part of life and not an insurmountable obstacle that someone purposely puts in our way. We must first of all put aside all those negative ideas and possible anticipations, which, surely, will put even more thorns in our path towards change. Because all fear is the edge of a scissors about to cut our wings. And we all have the right to fly …
The main thing is to gradually expose ourselves to certain situations. Situations where we can develop coping strategies to move forward, and learn at the same time. Because if we do not take risks, we will never achieve the necessary skills to be brave. To risk and have control of our own lives.
That is why it is important to take a step to start the new path, no matter how much it costs us. Changes that involve a turn in our lives are not usually easy, but they are usually fundamental to our well-being. So, instead of looking at our pain or fear in the short term, it is better to focus on the medium and long term. How could this change benefit me? If we see ourselves happier, free and fuller, without a doubt, it is a change that is worth it.
Losing fear is betting on happiness. And surely you also want to achieve it.
