Do You Know What Wendy’s Syndrome Is?

Wendy’s syndrome is an absolute need to satisfy the other, to give everything for him, forgetting even oneself. And when it comes to mentioning the other, it usually refers to the partner, but also to the children.

Today, this acute need to satisfy others and please loved ones is one of the tasks that many psychological therapies affect. Why? Because it is related in a very direct way with our emotions and our emotional intelligence will have a lot to do with the way we choose to cover it.

Wendy’s syndrome in depth

Thus, although it still does not have the neuropsychological protection that other syndromes have, Wendy’s syndrome has a lot to do with poor management of the need described above. That is, the person has the need to please others, seeking acceptance and not feeling rejected out of fear that no one loves them.

Their permanent insecurity makes them excessively subservient to others. A set of behaviors and feelings that are also associated with the famous Peter Pan syndrome, which the psychologist Dan Kiley recorded in 1983 applied to individuals who do not want to grow up.

It is very common for a Peter Pan to require or have a Wendy to do what he does not want to solve due to lack of responsibility and immaturity. The behaviors are not only present between the couple, they also occur between a father and son, between siblings and in friendship relationships.

How to recognize a person with Wendy syndrome

There are behaviors that clearly indicate that a person suffers from Wendy’s syndrome. The most common would be the following:

• The person feels essential.
• They conceive love as sacrificed and suffered.

• They are very emotional and submissive.
• Avoid anything or circumstance that could disturb the people around you.
• If you do not know or can take an action, apologize even if it is not your responsibility to take it.
• He overly protects the people around him : their lives are cuttings from the lives of others.
• Feel the need to take care of others.

All these characteristics can be easily recognizable, allowing us to diagnose a person with this syndrome feeling “ burned” and “burdened “ .

It is also good to clarify that all of us, at some point in our lives, have carried out some of these behaviors. The difference is that the person with the syndrome is truly motivated by the fear of being abandoned.

Origin and treatment

The origin does not depend on a single factor. It can be derived from the education received, from life experiences, personal characteristics or the present circumstances in which the person finds himself. It begins to manifest in late adolescence.

The solution to the problem can be summarized as “knowing how to say no.” To achieve this, it is highly recommended that it be carried out with a specialist and several psychotherapy sessions. There are also two essential points to address:

• That they are aware of their situation, since they see it as something normal in their lives. A “modus operandi” of your personality.
• Use emotional intelligence tools so that they learn to understand and manage their own emotions that have led them to act and feel in this way.

Do not forget that giving everything for others without taking yourself into account, without loving yourself, can end up causing an immense void. And that situation, in the long run, will end up leading to frustrations and dissatisfaction.

Being aware of these types of situations in our lives, daring to discover them and put ourselves “ in agreement “ with them to overcome them in a healthy way, allows us a healthy life, constituting a continuous personal / emotional progress. Because only if happiness is cultivated can it be offered to others.