Respect Your Rhythm, Respect The Rhythm Of Others

Be and let be. This very simple and elementary principle does not apply very much. Not everyone is aware that each of us has a rhythm, an inner music and a way of seeing and feeling things. Perhaps, for this reason, we are forced to protect ourselves from those who dare to go out of tune, modulate our emotions at will.

So let’s talk about rhythms. It is a subject as delicate as it is unknown, of which we are not always aware. Furthermore, at present, we are almost obsessed with promoting an acceleration of the same at all levels : children must learn to read and write as soon as possible, adolescents must behave like adults and we, adults, do nothing but compare ourselves with the rhythms of others.

We forget that in order to aspire to an authentic internal harmony we do not have to take money, power, prestige as a reference, and even less obsess over what we lack and what others have already achieved. If we maintain this scheme of life, all we will do is beg and move in circles, to the rhythm of rough and chaotic music.

True harmony begins with yourself. Only when we achieve calm, self-knowledge and that humility of heart where nothing is superfluous and nothing is lacking, the world is in a magical balance. No matter how fast the world goes, the demands of others do not matter: because  the beacon of happiness is within us.

Faster please

In the book “Alice Through the Looking Glass” , Lewis Carroll left us a moment worthy of reflection that scientists and sociologists soon echoed to develop the so-called “Red Queen Hypothesis”. When Alice arrives in the country of this character, and after a previous conversation, she is taken by the hand by the Queen to start a career. It must, because in that world everyone runs, and they do it very, very fast.

Alicia soon realizes that no matter how fast she runs, she is not moving forward. Soon the Red Queen explains why: “Here, you have to run a lot to stay in the same place. However, to get to another you have to run twice as fast “. The same thing happens in our society. If we accelerate the child’s pace beyond what is expected for his age, we will supposedly increase the probability of his academic success.

If we show others that we can offer and do more than we can, we may be successful. However, the only goal that we manage to cross is that of unhappiness. We are surrounded by a fierce and demanding environment that asks us to go faster, that steals our time, calm and even life.

Now, we have to bear in mind that in a world of rush nothing grows. Because everything in this life has its cooking time, its preparation and maceration time … So, to achieve that internal harmony it is necessary to establish an internal connection with our being to put something very difficult into practice:.

Respect your rhythms, respect the rhythm of others

People are like spinning tops circling a dance hall. Some go faster, some slower, some stop from time to time and the rest go at such frantic speed that they end up hitting others. The famous saying of learning “to be and let be” is not exactly easy and, therefore, it is common that at a moment we feel overwhelmed.

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi explained to us in her book “The Evolutionary Self” that many people come to the psychologists’ office in search of a “quick” lesson in personal growth. They arrive with such a high level of saturation that there are those who seek quick solutions to desperate moments.

However, there are no miracles up your sleeve or magic band-aids for life’s discomfort. Understanding that even self-esteem healing and rebuilding processes take time is paramount. In fact, as Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi himself explains, the higher the level of anxiety, the lower the possibility of reaching that vital flow with which we feel good, in balance.

How to find your rhythm, your internal music

We are clear that to achieve that needed inner calm we will need time, will and daily dedication. Once we are clear that any change implies responsibility, we will apply the following strategies:

• Be aware of your personal “baggage”. The education received, extreme perfectionism, the need to please or low self-esteem are clear enemies to consider and on which to reflect.

• Analyze your habits now. What do you do on a day-to-day basis? What facts bring you anxiety or dissatisfaction? Why have you chronicled them in your life if they cause you unhappiness?

• Get as much quality time as you can. If the day has 24 hours, you cannot dedicate 12 to others or occupy it in aspects that are not meaningful to you. Keep in mind that the concept of “flow” is not exactly in inactivity or in a state of relaxation. It is in dedicating ourselves to tasks that identify us, that give us meaning, rhythm, satisfaction and, therefore, happiness. Find the.

To conclude, it is necessary to understand that each person has their own path within and is, in turn, at a specific stage of their personal growth. Some will take longer to understand certain things, and for that reason, there is no other option but to be patient and practice respect. So let us learn to let the world run while we remain in our own center.

Images courtesy Hajin Bae