There Is Not Only Happiness In Giving, Receiving Is Also A Right
Happiness is not only part of the altruistic act of giving everything for nothing. Receiving is also a right, and even more so, it is also a need that encourages the heart and builds the fundamental pillars of reciprocity.
It was Mahatma Gandhi who once said that “the best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” It is a noble and humanistic approach, there is no doubt, but we must not confuse these currents with the plane of personal or affective relationships, where “giving and receiving” are inscribed in the same circle, like the classic mythological urobore that symbolizes effort. eternal where there is no beginning and no end.
Adam Grant, psychologist and author of the book “Give and Receive”, tells us that all of us would be situated at some point on that line that goes from the one who is used to giving, to the one who expects only to receive. Harmony would be found in a center from which to promote a happiness capable of giving and which, in turn, receives. Something that unfortunately we do not always see. Especially in the field of relationships. We invite you to reflect on it.
The heart also yearns to receive recognition
We don’t want gifts, we prefer details. We do not want our favors returned or a plaque dedicated to us for each effort invested, for each time spent or for each dream relegated in order to serve and make happy those we love.
What our hearts long for is respect, recognition, and reciprocity. None of this is touched with the hands. However, it has the subtle virtue of caressing our soul to make us feel loved. That is why many times, having none of this, we are left empty and almost defenseless.
The problem of most affective relationships is precisely in this dissonance: in giving everything in exchange for very little. Henry Miller, known for his vital and sensual works, commented in one of his books that for these “asymmetric” relationships to be successful, two patients were needed: one addicted to receiving and the other whose addiction was giving. Only then would there be harmony. The rest of relationships would inevitably be doomed to agonizing suffering.
It is necessary to know what we deserve
It is clear that the world is sometimes a complex and even diverse scenario, full of affections and misfortunes where the well-liked and the bad-wanted are the order of the day. However, we cannot do anything to change that partner or that relative who understands life that way: expecting more than they are willing to offer.
In order to maintain healthier relationships, we must be aware that blaming this discomfort only brings more suffering. There are times when even with love, the relationship is unsustainable and that is because one of the two does not love as the other person wants, expects or needs. There is no blame.
Authentic love, the love of the soul, is an act where two wise people freely offer themselves to each other to build, to invest equally. It is to wish the happiness of the loved one without demanding our own happiness in return.
