It Is Better To Be Alone Than Badly In Love

In reality, nobody knows if he is right or wrong in love. Love is felt with all its expansion and its blind certainty, until suffering suddenly turns into that daily companion to which we should never get used to … We forget that it is better to be alone than badly in love.

Many things can be written about love. We all know those famous manuals, we have read more than one self-help book signed by eminent specialists. All great gurus who seem to have the best advice for any emotional problem.

Now, why do we keep making mistakes in many of our relationships? The truth is that no one is immune from suffering. Not even the brain, with all its knowledge, readings, and experiences, is completely in control of the heart.

They often repeat to us that of ” if you give yourself completely to that person, then you will only be able to love again in pieces “. However, how can we offer ourselves to the one we love if not with our whole being, with all our fullness, immensity and particularity?

Love and loneliness

Love that feels true is not offered in pieces. It is offered in a complete, full way, because we love completely, with sincerity. Maybe that’s where the real risk appears.

In this life nothing is certain. We walk on a world that never stops flowing and changing. There where people, like feelings, are also fallible. Nobody can be right about love. However, there is something that we must always be clear about …

You don’t have to be afraid of loneliness, you don’t have to see it as a bad option. Sometimes being alone is the best way to be in union with ourselves. It is the catharsis of those bad loves from which we must know how to free ourselves. Because sometimes, it is better to be alone than badly in love …

Those bad loves, those illogical loves that make us prisoners

There are wise loves, full loves that enrich us and make our life more complete and edifying. They are those relationships where both members respect their spaces, where individual growth is possible and, in turn, that of the partner itself.

More than one may wonder … but do these types of relationships really exist? Of course. That search may take you half your life, or you may have the right person near you but you haven’t seen them yet. However, we all have our moment, that which must be seen with an open heart and an awake mind.

What makes us sometimes have to live such harmful and illogical loves? The truth is that there are many, many explanations in this regard and although they can all be known to us, this does not prevent us from falling into them on more than one occasion.

Because that’s the way it is, love sometimes blinds us and drags us down. It doesn’t matter what the people around us tell us. Our reality is ours and we let ourselves be carried away, until a moment comes when, indeed, we open our eyes… Now let’s see what these events are due to.

Need to be recognized

Suddenly, someone appears who recognizes our words, who is kind and who is interested in what we do, what we say. We are overnight that center in the life of another person that we are not, and that makes us feel good. Generally, people with low self-esteem are those who get carried away by relationships where the need to be recognized is nurtured, sometimes so destructive.

We all have some deficiency, and the simple fact of having someone who at first fills those gaps and files our corners, alleviating our fears, is something that comforts. However, most of the time it is nothing more than a delusion. In the long run, these harmful loves create more spaces, more voids, and more splinters.

Fear of being alone or alone

It may surprise you, but the statement in this article would not apply to a large number of people. There are those who do not “conceive” that of being alone . There are people who see loneliness as a vital failure and in turn, a shame in the face of society itself.

And for that they will endure and swallow whatever it is. Relationships, even if they are destructive and violate your rights as a person, are in turn raised as a comfort zone much more manageable than what is behind that line of “security” (or destruction).

Those old stereotypes when it comes to being alone …

According to Hall, R., Hennegan, A., & Conill, M. (2003) this aspect may also surprise more than one. But to this day there are still those who assume debatable ideas. For example, in love, if you don’t suffer, you don’t really love. Or that love is giving in to make the other person happy. In this life, the one who endures the most, the one who suffers the most, is the strongest.

We should banish many of those ideas labeled by romantic love, where those traditional roles of submission and domination are implicit, where the one who loves the most is the one who presents the most jealousy … We must be careful with these concepts that are still very present in our society.

It is often said that a love so strong always appears in life that it will destroy us and make us love to pieces later. You don’t have to be so dramatic, put your pieces together again. Unite them one by one and without losing any to love again with optimism always starting with yourself.