The Smile Of Those Who Are Gone Will Be Our Best Memory

If we want to keep a great memory of those who are no longer there, the key is to evoke their smile. Doing this is a way to generate positive feelings that, although they will not stop having brushstrokes of sadness and melancholy, can help us not to color your image of her.

However, our grief has certain phases that are necessary to manage the thoughts, behaviors, feelings and emotions that generate the losses of those people we love or who are important in our lives.

Also, what we must bear in mind is that we cannot get used to the death of the people we love and that, therefore, each loss will test or require us to manage our resources in some way to cope.

The duel, the farewell of those who are no longer

Saying goodbye to those who are no longer there is a process that in one way or another It is complicated to understand and many times we maintain the belief that we must face the loss in order to stop “thinking, feeling or behaving” according to what she has meant to us. But everything is a process, let’s see what it consists of:

The negation

According to grief expert Elisabeth Klüber-Ross, at first we tend to act in denial of reality, trying to convince ourselves that “we feel good” or that “this person’s death is a mistake.” We could say that this denial is as normal as it is temporary when we lose someone, because we need to cushion the impact.

The wrath

There will come a time, variable in time, when we finally see that the reality is that we have lost that person. This often makes us feel the need to “take revenge” for their loss, because the sensation of having a knife stuck in the chest that is preventing us from breathing. “It’s not fair” “Why him / her (and not me)?” “Because right now?” We usually tell ourselves getting angry with life, God (if we are believers) or the world.

The negotiation

It is also common for us to face the conscious or unconscious idea of “trying to do something to regain a life worth living in your absence.” We can even think about reuniting with our loved ones or any other way to postpone death.

Here we try to negotiate with the idea that we have of higher power (God or other conceptions), we ask for more time or the opportunity to say those I love you that we did not say in life.

The Depression

Finally there comes the point where we understand death through a feeling of being trapped or slowed down, as well as tremendously sad. This is the stage when we cry heartily and are unable to cope with our lives.

The acceptation

It is likely that with the passage of time we will end up understanding that death is irremediable and that the best way to remember those who are no longer and who we loved so much is by evoking their smile.

Carry in our hearts the smile of those who are no longer there

A loss cannot be treated in terms of overcoming or not overcoming, since it would mean giving up the reality that accompanies it and resigning ourselves to “forgetting” the absent people. In order to “accept death as a part of life” it is necessary that we allow ourselves to feel and not force ourselves to “recover” quickly.

Take time to allow ourselves to live life. Thus, for every loss we have in our lives, we must allow ourselves to honor our memories and embrace them in a personal way.