Your Phone Brings You Closer To Those Who Are Far Away, But It Takes You Away From Those Who Are Close

For everything there is a time and a place, but the mobile phone is practically in all times and places. He is present while we cook, work, watch TV, have coffee with friends or eat with family. It has invaded our day to day and has ended up subtracting quality (and quantity) from the moments we spend with the people close to us.

That is why we say that the mobile phone brings us closer to people who are far away, but it takes us away from those who are sitting next to us. WhatsApp, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc., help us to have the world in our hands. They bring us closer to the people and the world they want to show us; They help, in many cases, that physical distance does not match emotional distance, although they also generate fictitious exchanges.

However, what was once a communicative option for everyone, today is turning us into slaves. People urge us to respond immediately. Failure to do so can result in tremendous anger, a soporific discussion based on indignation and a distrust that knots feelings.

The telephone, core of the tyranny of the networks

Being in possession of a smart mobile phone or “smartphone” has side effects. The first is the creation of one, with our work, with our friends, with audiovisual material …

The second side effect is the. When a person is on the bus, in the subway, on the street, having a coffee or at home alone, they usually have their mobile phone as a wild card.

The fact of being with the mobile phone constantly causes us to slow down our internal dialogue. This can be positive on certain occasions, but in most cases it impoverishes our self-knowledge and our personal development.

In addition to leaving us little time for reflection and little choice, it takes us away from conversations, from looks, from contacts.

Couples, families, coworkers, friends … spend the day in company without having a quality contact, without appreciating non-verbal language, without adequately attending to an uncomfortable facial expression, an affective need, etc.

Although we are not obliged to answer, we are socially pressured to do so. Failure to do so symbolizes neglect and disinterest, as well as a declaration of intent. This ends up “burning us” and making our contacts with others a true odyssey. That is why more and more people are making the determination to “erase themselves” from the virtual map.

The healthy drama of disconnection

If we stop to think about how many times we unlock our phone throughout the day, the final figure will probably set off our alarms. But what’s more, if we try to avoid it, the discomfort will be noticeable. This fact gives us the clue that something is wrong in the relationship we have with our mobile phone or smartphone.

Enrique Echeburúa, a Spanish psychologist specializing in addictions, states that  “what characterizes an addiction is the loss of control and dependence. A normal person uses the networks for their usefulness or pleasure. An addict does it seeking relief from an unresolved emotional distress: boredom, loneliness, anger, nervousness… ”.

Hyperconnection takes its toll on a physical and mental level. It not only generates psychological and social fatigue but also physical, specifically visual. However, if it weren’t a personally and socially rewarding experience, we wouldn’t use it as often.

However, the possibility of “disconnecting” for a few days is a very interesting and healthy option. This will help us to become aware and learn to manage the connection time to the telephone and to the networks (for example, limit it from a certain time).

Disconnecting ourselves from the networks is not an easy task: firstly, because of the addiction we have and, secondly, because it involves almost completely dropping us socially. This is a price that we may not be able or unwilling to pay.

Disconnecting for a few days will not change the reality we live in, but it will help us to take control, relieve ourselves of social demands and re-appreciate the conversation and quality contact with the people who are sitting next to us.