How To Identify Communication Saboteurs

Active listening plays a very important role in the communication process, thanks to it we are able to intentionally direct our cognitive resources towards the message that is being told to us. By putting it into practice, we ensure that the rest of the people who participate in the communication process feel recognized as interlocutors and that at the same time we do not miss important information.

However, there are people who have a tendency to sabotage this communicative attention : people who, either with the content of the message or with the way they communicate themselves, sleep or repel our attention.

In this article we will focus on the content part. Thus, some content that is really unbearable are:

– The perceived lie. Who has not ever had the feeling that they are being told the biggest lie in the world? This feeling makes our attention want to run out of the conversation, it is as if to say why am I going to stay here if they are mistreating me?

– The Yo-Yo. There are people who can spend hours and hours talking to you about themselves. They can tell you about their days with hairs and signs and minutely describe their smallest aches and pains. You will identify them because they cause great exhaustion and because when their name appears on the screen of your phone or cell phone, surely something has happened to them and they do not resist telling you.

– Why don’t you know what happened to Juan, Paquita’s son? . There are people who live mounted on gossip and chatter and live off the insane sport of putting whoever blocks to drain. Usually you want to get out of this conversation for two reasons: because you don’t care about what happened to Juan and because you fear that anything you can to him could make you the protagonist of the dialogue he has with the next person he meets.

-The negatives. People who flood their dialogues with their catastrophic perceptions of life. They are able to predict anything from suspense to deluge, asserting the power of their lenses with their infrequent hits and completely ignoring common misses. Destiny, be good and get me out of this conversation because in the end it rubs off on me.

-People who do not abandon the complaint. They only end up complaining about bad weather, when they start complaining that their spouse is late, and they only drop this complaint when they find another reason to complain. It is a continuous succession, a non-stop, that can destroy your nerves and make your head explode. They use the technique of the pilon hammer or the drop of water and their aspiration, the maximum is that you agree with all their complaints. If you do not do it, it is because you are not very understanding or you have directly gone over to the enemy side. Come on, one more reason for complaint.

-The exaggerated ones. A child who breaks a plate one day, a child who behaves fatally. A little cold, pneumonia. A good movie, the best ever. You want to escape the dialogue with these types of people because you are unable to get an idea of ​​the reality that they are telling you. It is impossible because they speak of the world in black and white when your experience tells you that absolutes can be counted on the fingers of one hand.

-Finally, there are the dogmatic people, those who try to sneak their opinion in the middle of a fact. Pedro had an accident because he was a fatal driver. They are able to affirm this without having any idea of ​​how Pedro is driving, or how the accident was. However, they affirm the “accident” fact with the same forcefulness as their assessment of “Pedro’s way of driving.”

If you come across a communicator of this type, remember that silence and time are really valuable!

Photo courtesy of Sainam51