Are You A Slave To Approval Seeking?

Surely the need to feel the approval of others sounds familiar to you. Do you know how much effort that requires? If the search for approval has become essential and essential in your life, you have a lot to do!

We know that it is a very comfortable and pleasant situation. Feeling a pat on the back from time to time feels good, yes?

The question is whether we are capable of feeling the same way if our work does not awaken a good reception in others. Furthermore, we must ask ourselves to what extent it influences our decisions. Do we choose those tasks in which we know that we will find this social recognition?

Surely inside you will immediately say no. Socially it is frowned upon that our decisions are conditioned by others, it sounds like we have no personality. However, this is a growth task, nobody listens to us and the influence of this motivation is so powerful it is very subtle.

The constant search for approval

We all like others to support us, it is a very special force that arises when we feel this heat. It is not negative!

But when does approval seeking turn negative? It turns against us when everything we achieve, when for everything we do we need others to approve it.

You ask yourself, can you live like this? Yes of course! But sooner or later, the frustration of not getting the approval you want when you want it will come over you, plunging you into constant sadness and anxiety. Feelings that we usually feel as strange because it is not easy to identify the cause of them.

Are you a slave to the search for approval?

If you are still not sure whether or not you are a slave to the approval search, here we will show you some examples that can guide you  and with which you can feel identified:

• You feel attacked, insulted and humiliated if others have a contrary opinion.
• You soften a comment to avoid unpleasant reactions.
• You do things for another person, while feeling resentful that you didn’t say “no.”
• You constantly say “sorry” and “I’m sorry. “
• You are late to a site or any other action in which you make yourself noticed.
• You say things that others want to hear to get them to love you.
• You buy something you don’t like because you are intimidated by the seller; do not return a piece of clothing because that will upset the seller.

If you feel identified with any of these examples, keep reading! We are going to help you overcome this search for approval.

1. Say what you dislike

If there is someone trying to manipulate you, an opinion that is not correct or simply contrary, express it! Don’t try to please your interlocutor just to avoid differences.

You know that afterwards you won’t feel as good as you should, so start being honest with yourself and express what you are not satisfied with.

2. Be grateful

Instead of pleasing others, be thankful. If there is something they mention about your behavior, for example, “you are a very shy person”, instead of pleasing the person who says it, trying to modify that facet that others dislike, thank him!

All appreciation eliminates the search for approval. Be grateful for his words, agree with him if you agree, but don’t change your way of being if you can’t or don’t want to.

3. Look for disapproval

One of the ways to overcome the search for approval is to submit to the opposite, to seek disapproval. It is a rough but effective way of learning to escape the approval of others. Also, this way you can see the negative side of that approval search.

4. Correct yourself out loud

The first step you should take is to correct yourself out loud every time you seek approval. It may seem silly to you, but it is a good technique to realize this trend and find new options to avoid falling into it. Work this consciously and you will notice the difference!

5. Trust yourself

The foundation of all change, especially the one we discuss here, is trusting yourself. Seeking someone’s approval to indulge yourself? Backing you under that to justify it? Stop!

You decide, and if you think you deserve to treat yourself or change something in your life, do it, do not expect anyone’s approval. It’s your life. You are the only one who should approve of that behavior.

If you have identified with this, you already have some ideas to get going. Do not live in the false shadow offered by the approval of others. In the long run that will make you very unhappy and prevent you from living your life the way you really want to live it.

Don’t be afraid to say and act as you think, because although initially pleasing the people around you can make you more attractive, in the long run continually complacent people turn out to be very boring.