Forgiveness Frees You From The Past And Allows You To Move Forward

Forgiveness is one of the greatest forms of generosity there is. Forgiveness  is an almost inevitable part of every relationship we have. Granting it and asking for it is a freedom, an option that confers enormous value on it, since it usually involves a greater effort than its alternatives: not asking for it or not granting it.

There are people who do not forgive because they think that in this way they do not release the other person from guilt, but the reality is that the person who suffers the most is the one who does not know how to forgive. Failure to do so means that the pain stays inside, turning into a kind of sharp, uncontrolled dagger capable of causing enormous damage in unpredictable ways.

Not knowing how to forgive ties you to anger and resentment, so it is very likely that you will end up nurturing your thoughts with them.

Wrong ways of perceiving forgiveness

There are people who have a wrong way of understanding forgiveness, they believe that it is a form of competition that points, rewarding a winner and punishing a loser. Thus, a wrong way of perceiving forgiveness is one that has to do with the following beliefs:

• Releasing the other person from their actions
• Give
• Turn the other cheek
• Pretend nothing has happened
• Admit that your anger is not justified
• Forcing yourself to get along with someone you feel might hurt you again.

Understand forgiveness as a freedom that heals

Forgiveness has to do with oneself, with feeling good

• Release grudges or resentments
• Heal wounds, blur scars
• Be a choice to move to a better state of mind
• Help you focus your attention on the positives
• Give yourself a great opportunity: make a clean slate
• Set yourself free: it is your choice, do not forget that you have the power over your feelings

Let time do its work

When something hurts, remember that you cannot act on the past and that, on the contrary, it is the present and the future that will give you the opportunity to intervene: alleviating, remedying and restoring.

Let your positive energy go out without the need to fight, without having to fight a hard confrontation. Allow your attention to focus on being better, preventing the damage from masking appreciation for the rest of the positive things you have.

Forgiving and being forgiven is just as liberating

Forgiving is a great act of kindness towards oneself and towards others, which will help you move forward and realize that there is nothing as poisonous as being wrong with yourself. In addition, the person who receives forgiveness can learn a great lesson, related to humility and human values, which will also transform his perspective.

Pain that causes harm is often unavoidable. However, do not give him the power to settle in your life because later he will not want to leave. The only person who can control your feelings is you. If you are constantly reliving the pain of what happened, you will be giving power to the person who betrayed you.

Don’t hold on to negative feelings in order to move forward

Don’t hold on to negative feelings or anger will continue to paralyze you. Anger is only an external sign of the pain, fear, guilt or frustration you feel at the moment of betrayal. While the pain will never completely go away, forgiveness can help you release anger and be better.

Although there is no single way to forgive, for some people it just happens and yet others must try harder and work harder to get it, give it or integrate it. For example, things like, “I am going to let this happen and I am not going to invest my hatred, anger, or resentment on this person.”

Remember that things cannot be changed, but you have the power to decide how to respond to the facts. For this you will have to talk to yourself and write what your internal dialogue tells you. If it’s all negative, make the effort to find positive ways of thinking.

Finally, remember that perfection does not exist. That error, no matter how much we try to turn our back on it, inevitably exists. What is modifiable is what we do with it and how we enhance our ability so that the damage and pain it can cause disappear as soon as possible from our lives.