How Do We Fall Out Of Love?
We all know what love is, the stages it goes through and what needs to be done to keep it alive. But … what about the falling out of love phase?
Yes, it also happens. People fall in love, but they also fall out of love. The question is why and how this happens. Can we avoid it? Are we always going to fall out of love with the person we fell in love with?
Let’s find out!
Physical and mental attraction
When we fall in love with someone we are attracted to that person. So why do we suddenly stop feeling that attraction ? Have we “tired” of our partner?
Attraction is one of the first phases of infatuation that diminishes over time. Gone are those nerves you felt when he called you, when he asked you out, when you wanted to give him a gift … Where is he? Our bodies have changed. We are no longer the same. The habit begins to take effect.
The power of habit
Something that we do not like because it does not bring anything good: boredom and monotony. Before everything was new and now everything is the same. Where is what surprised us? The plans together disappeared, there is no spontaneity …
The result of the habit is the lack of physical contact, we begin to suppress displays of affection in public and loving words have been eliminated from our vocabulary. There is a routine and that “accommodates” us, but over time this brings its consequences. We begin to get bored with our partner and, very important, to see defects where we did not see them before.
Destructive criticism
Why was it perfect at first and now not? How come all the flaws suddenly appear? Were we blind? That is also another of the phases of love, when we see those exalted qualities. We magnify them and when, over time, we see them as they are, we don’t like them.
We start to get tired of those behaviors that we tolerated and we no longer have any qualms about telling our partner everything we think, without thinking about whether we are hurting him . Before we empathized more, we were more understanding … suddenly we became slaves of complaints, anger and, of course, discussions.
Lack of communication
Very important in any relationship: communication. It can never, absolutely never be absent if the relationship is lost.
It is necessary to interact with our partner. But beware! We are talking about talking, not arguing. Exchanging wishes, emotions. Trust each other like old times. All of that is lost as you lose attraction and begin to see flaws. We no longer see our partner, many times we see a stranger.
The fine line of affection
Surely the phrase “I no longer love him, but I love him. ” All of the above leads to this point. This is where we know perfectly well the dividing line that separates love from affection.
Despite falling out of love, we feel appreciation for that person with whom we have shared part of our life. There have been good and bad times, and we have all enjoyed them. It has been an important part and we do not think of it as something negative. But … love is gone.
As we mentioned before, the force of habit, the passing of the years that causes disenchantment, the lack of communication … all this causes love to transform into mere affection.
And now the big question , can heartbreak be avoided? It depends. Not all couples manage to preserve their love for a long time, that is why we believe that love has an expiration date. Perhaps the affinity that there is and the type of personality that the couple has influence how long their love can last. Humor, positivity, doing things together, having fun… This usually helps but it depends on how we are and how comfortable we feel.
Does all the love of couples end up being transformed into affection? Do you think heartbreak can be avoided? We await your opinions!
Main image courtesy of villorejo
