Self-esteem Is The Dance Of Self-love

To understand what self-esteem is, we have to understand that our mind works like a mirror. It reflects everything that our senses capture in a particular way. It works as if everything that it perceives – through them – were the pieces of a puzzle, which have to fit together somehow.

Not only that, but she’s happy when she succeeds and can get a little upset when she doesn’t. The people around us and, by extension, us, also have an image in this very special mirror. That image is none other than our self-esteem.

For this reason, we must understand self-esteem as the dance that our senses perform when building the puzzle of something bigger, love for oneself, for what is represented and drawn with every little movement we make.

Why is self-esteem important?

The answer is simple: because self-esteem  is present in everything we do. It’s like that ghostly and secret ingredient that the cook adds to all recipes, the same one that we add to all our actions. Thus, the way we see ourselves will determine the goals we choose or how we treat other people.

So if we have low self-esteem, we will prefer goals that are clearly below our ability to perform. On the other hand, it will diminish the possibilities of leaving our comfort zone, thus hurting our potential.

Low self-esteem will also affect the relationships we have with others. It is a source of “false shyness” and a huge trip to be assertive. It places us in inferiority to others and makes us act like one.

In addition, it will make us develop negative thoughts. Surely you have ever witnessed the following scene: a person receives a reward he deserves and yet you can see in his eyes how he thinks he is not. In this way, a negatively biased image of ourselves prevents us from enjoying what we achieve and, therefore, celebrating it as it deserves.

What characterizes a healthy self-esteem?

A healthy self-esteem is a largely exposed image.  In other words, a poorly protected image, as it does not need to protect itself since its foundations are strong. He does not need the armor of withdrawal or shyness, nor does he need self-centeredness or the subjugation of others. She does not wear a tight dress because it evolves and grows with us.

Likewise, healthy self-esteem lacks the blindness and competitiveness that comes from self-centeredness. It is vulnerable to allow feelings to reach its own essence, to be part of its configuration. It is also fair, both with the failures and with the successes, and takes into account the value of the intention.

From her comes love, generosity, dedication, because in her it is written that we also have something valuable to give . Something that can make a family, a group of friends, a society or the whole world better. Finally, as we are aware of this value, we allow ourselves to receive the gratitude that they send us or, even, to reward ourselves.

How can we get a good self-esteem?

The relationship that we have described up to this point, with the rest of the elements of our life, is two-way. Thus, the same thing that causes good self-esteem is what helps it to grow and stay strong.

Choosing wisely the challenges we choose to face, so that along the way we can enhance strengths and iron out our weaknesses, can be one of the first steps. Most of these challenges should not be too small or too great, they should ask us for an effort but not the sacrifice of half our lives.

If we think that the achievement of our objective is very far in time, it is good that we set small intermediate goals that give us the satisfaction of reaching them. On the other hand, it is good that we combine it with alternative activities, since they will be a good temporary escape route when a setback occurs.

On the other hand, move. Get healthy and let the body expand and reconcile with its nature. When we do this it is as if we shake the bowl of our thoughts, using the simple action of gravity to unravel them.

On the other hand, and continuing with the exercise, becoming obsessed with our image is not going to help us. However, taking care of it and receiving the gratification of looking good can also help our self-esteem.

Our image alongside that of others

As we said at the beginning, in our mind there is a parallel world of images. Following this thread, we have seen how a very particular image of this unique and diverse heap is our self-esteem.

This reflection, self-esteem not only gives us an idea of ​​who we are, but also of who we are in front of others ; And this is where the paradox comes, since it is precisely our friends, family, enemies and acquaintances who determine the angle with which we face the mirror.

Knowing how to calibrate and give the necessary importance to the opinions that they contribute us will be the last – and perhaps the most important – of the factors to have a good self-esteem. Thus, choosing and weighing the relevance of external feedback very well will pave the way for us to build a self-esteem with strong roots and vulnerable skin.