We Are No Longer The Same
What would a sudden reunion of two people who had a relationship look like years after their breakup? Let’s imagine a story … Any story …
We meet again suddenly. It may seem poetic, but we turned the corner and ran into each other. Without escape.
We had not seen each other for three years and our lives ran in parallel routines. Each one in his train or perhaps in different wagons and with different luggage. It hurt us. That everything would end after four years of relationship …
In recent months, the problems between us made us walk through life looking down at the ground due to the unbearable weight of sadness and anger, or contemplating the sky of what was and that you wish it would return.
Cease to be
To stop being is to accept, in part, a break with yourself. A part of you, that no longer represents you, continues to want that illusion to return, that is why letting it go is a fracture, sometimes very necessary.
Apparently, on many occasions, what we are still in love with is that past time that we have lived. Of that reflection that is no longer present in our reality but that, to avoid facing that dissonance, we accept to live from a memory, from a shadow.
Of course, relationships change and they can be a roller coaster ride, twists and turns. And of course falling in love disappears and love can keep two people together who accept that changes are just that, changes.
And of course that path not only does not damage relationships but also makes them bigger, more mature, stronger, almost immortal.
When it’s over
But this is not a fight story, it is a flight story, which is also a battle. This is the story of a collapse, of problems that go beyond the emotional or of a passing stage.
It was hard to accept that no matter how hard we tried, we weren’t happy. On the contrary, unhappiness increased with each failed attempt.
That initial state of being in love was a thing of the past and love could no longer continue to grow, at least not in a natural and sincere way. So we decided to continue loving each other in the distance, in another way.
We mourned our loss, our “ceasing to be” and we loved each other more than ever. Far. So cowardly and at the same time so brave.
Of course there were shades of resentment, questions that will never be answered and discomfort in our pride. Wounds that in the end, ended up healing when we looked at each other in that corner where we met again and where we ran into, head-on and without warning, our mirrors.
We are no longer the same. We are those who were, but we do not recognize ourselves that way.
I just hope he smiled and also felt less weight in his backpack when we said goodbye again that day. As if reaffirming that we are no longer that reflection and that it simply no longer hurts.
And also, I wish with all my desire that time has put each of us in their place: happy, just as we met.
“I gathered the defects that I had abandoned
to be with you.
Summon revenge,
resentment
of pride.
I gave back to my daggers
cruelty to my mouth
and selfishness to my heart.
For taking away the weapons
with which you killed me, I
fled from purity
and sincerity.
And I drowned my own blood
to the innocent who did not know
that giving you everything
made him a man with nothing.
Empty for you.
I missed you,
just the time when I still remembered
the taste of your lips.
Or the way the sea of your nude
breaks against your skin.
But today I am already safe
from your eyes.
The bodies of the others
have already forgotten yours.
And everything that I hope is
no longer missing you.
I gathered selfishness
to resentment
to pride.
How can he be wrong who gets the reward of his freedom
in exchange for what he most wanted
the most . “
-Benjamín Prado-
