When Envy Turns Into Something Serious And Pathological

Envy eats away at anyone and destroys all fertile ground. Kill what is alive and run fast like a tsunami. It sweeps everything. Envy is destructive to both oneself and others. A feeling that makes existence bitter, especially in its greatest intensity.

Perhaps at some point in our life we ​​may have felt envy towards a person. Either because of their physical qualities, because of their achievements or because of their luck. Nobody is totally unknown this feeling.

Now, there is a type of envy labeled as healthy that does not produce that bitter taste. Its presence is something like a little tap on the back that, when we feel it, indicates what we long for or that we would like to change and that leaves us with an aftertaste of sadness and nostalgia. Healthy envy is not as bitter or destructive as pathological envy.

Listen to envy to help us

Envy, whether healthy or pathological, tells us about something that is missing in us or that at least we consider that we do not have. Perhaps it indicates the presence of a feeling of inferiority that prevents us from having healthy relationships with others or perhaps, it reminds us of that dream that was trapped in the bedroom of our life. Whatever it is, it always has something to say to us, which is why it is so important to listen to it.

We will achieve nothing by hiding or denying it. Envy is there and wants to warn us of something. If not, we would not feel it like that thorn stuck in our chest when we know about the good fortune and happiness of other people. We would not care.

Thus, when we feel envy it seems that somehow something is stirring within us. That is why it is important to listen to it, translate what it wants to tell us, accept it and take action. Yes. The token is in our hands, not in someone else’s hands. The last person who can decide what to do with that unfulfilled dream is us. Let’s not forget it.

Pathological envy destroys us

It is true that we do not always have the resources to fulfill our dreams, but perhaps we can adapt them to our possibilities and work constantly to make them come true. For this reason, it is normal on certain occasions to feel that little pinch when we see that someone has achieved what we have not yet been able to do. Or what gives us vertigo to want to achieve.

The problem is when that envy becomes the central axis of our interactions with others. When it dominates our relationships and we begin to constantly compare ourselves with the other. In this way, the only thing we achieve is to de-center ourselves from our own existence, putting our critical gaze on the outside. A look focused on looking for the failure, the weakness or the weakness of the other. A punishing attitude that does not forgive the happiness of others.

Thus, the other person ends up becoming someone to hate. Depending on your misery our happiness and your happiness our misery. A maze of discomfort that revolves around the feeling of envy and has the power to blind us when it comes to finding a solution to what happened.

Transform negative energy into positive

Faced with the trap of envy and the effect of negativity that it generates, it is vital to transform that energy (aimed at criticizing and looking for the “failures” of others) into a positive one in order to look for what really makes us happy. Thus, all the effort focused on tracking the outside must be directed towards ourselves.

Only we can be our only measure. It is important to assume that the comparison is really useless. Each human being is unique and has their own strengths and weaknesses. Why compare ourselves with others? We are not the same person, nor have we lived the same, nor do we see the world in the same way …

Each person is built in a different way. There will be people who are “better or worse” than us in a particular discipline and vice versa.  That is something that we have to assume if we do not want to enter the deadly game of comparisons.

One can be a disaster in math and for another they can be tremendously simple. But the latter may not be as creative as the former, which is an explosion of art and creativity. Each person shines with their own light.

As we can see, only by living in our own reality can we focus on what we want to be and how we want to do it. Thus the best ally to move forward is not the feeling of envy but acceptance. That support capable of propelling us where we want and that sometimes makes our way so much easier.